I had a conversation in the bath today with my vagina and other female-developed body parts; an open, honest conversation of gratitude for the constant and yet gentle reminders I've been aware of that my body has given to me for over a decade, of progress I've needed to make in our relationship. It's taken I don't even know how long before that to move from a place of disappointment, ignorance, avoidance, and general blocking of acknowledgement to one of wholeness. I was one of the girls who, upon realizing all of what engendering the female body entailed, was horrified and knew there was some kind of cosmic mistake. And although my body was always right there with me, caring for me in any and every way it could, I responded with despondency.
No one taught me how to 'be' with my body, how to listen to, love and care for the beautiful vessel I have the privilege to animate and co-create with. It wasn't until I went looking into how to bring my experience here into greater flourishing, how to collapse the old way of pushing myself and others to get things done, that I started to listen to my body, to my knowings, to what it is I am here to be. And to really receive the support, love and caring that is around me all the time.
I've come to realize that there is no arrival, no finishing point, it's more like a kind of constant refining, tinkering, and honing that allows me to be vulnerable, to continue to expand and flow more gracefully into what I choose to be, wether that is a more compassionate family member or an easily approachable member of my community. So, it is with a sense of humble awe, of calm acceptance and of heart-felt grace that I continue moment by moment to soften my edges and embrace the love that Is. Thank You.