I remember learning about compromises, how in order to get something you want you have to let some of it go, or some of your knowing. There were all sorts of stuff around having, getting and even being. After returning from Bimini last month and graduating from the Life Transformed Certified Coach program with Rikka Zimmerman, I realized I no longer choose to compromise. I am my business, I am my family, I am my friendships, I am my body, I am all the experiences I've chosen. And I choose to stand by me, through it all. I'm here to love me in a way that no one else can, And really, how could they? They absolutely can be here with me and bless their little hearts, I love that about them! I have the most fabulous family members and friends I could ever dream of, an all-star cast! But I know it's my love and acceptance, trust, enthusiasm, power, confidence... I need to be the one front and centre for me. I Choose Me, whatever that is moment by illustrious moment.
I've been playing with the human experience, all the emotions, thoughts from the mind, experiences of and in the body, and the idea of suffering. We are energetic beings, all that we are, all that we experience, is energy in motion. We are star dust and this dust contains particles that are constantly in motion; electrons, protons, neutrons and particles much smaller than that, all in motion, all the time. Each particle is vibrating energy while in motion. These vibrations surround us in every moment of our existence and our mind, body, and emotions' interpretations of these vibrations become our experiences. What if the vibrations that we experience no longer have to be defined, have to be something for the mind, body or emotions know. We would no longer need to define our experiences as good or bad, right or wrong, up or down, they would just be experiences and not need anything 'done' with them. They just are. All That Is. Suffering would cease as we would not need an outcome of any kind. What is in this now moment is what is. Not more, not less, no thing, just what is. Our beautiful mind, with all it's preferences, pre-judgements, wants, beliefs, ideas, thoughts, would be silenced eventually as we no longer chose that direction and avenue of experience. A sense of wonderment in the unfolding of every moment could be our new experience... wonderment, as all children know so innately and many adults yearn to return to. I wonder if I could allow this to be?!
For the past year I have been having an absolute ball playing with expansion, with more, with wholeness, with perceived limitations and have come out... Me, more Me than I ever realized was possible. I spent so much of my life focused on the external, of managing, of making right, of trying to be and do what I'd perceived was the way it was done that I forgot about what I Am. Divine. Whole. Free. Untitled. Infinite. Fearless. Gentle. I had glimpses of this energy, this vibration, the feeling it brought my senses, but it seemed very fleeting and I wanted to keep a hold on the experience because it felt so good.
Now, I cannot say any state is my continual experience, awareness flows from aspect to aspect, illuminating more and more angles or facets of my Being. The less I engage in an opinion of what it is I am aware of, the more able I am experience more than my opinions of the experience itself. As I strengthen my choice to be the observer of my actions, interactions, and reactions, I have an unattached ability to honour and love the personality I have created. The return to what it is I Am on a moment-by-moment basis unfolds and I have another place of being to reside in that is full, calm, centred, peaceful and abundant.
If this is a direction you know is possible for you and you'd like to experience something similar, contact me on FaceBook, through my website or call. I'd be more than contented to show another way...
Separation may exist in our thought patterns but really does not exist outside our limited reality. What we think and believe we create for our own experience, but that is nit always What Is. It is an aspect of the whole, but still separate and distinct, just as a segment of orange is the orange but only part of it. Allowing EVERYTHING we become aware of into our lives, embracing every aspect of ourselves and loving it, wether it is anger, sadness, joy, boredom, fatigue, loneliness, contentment... these are all aspects of the whole that We Are. Allow them to start merging into your awareness and being that You Are and from this place, wholeness occurs, the pieces and parts of us that we've kept separate and apart can unite again in the One that We Are. These are only words to point in the direction of What Is, travel lightly.
Funny, as it's been a long time since I've blogged here and long time in coming into harmony with the topic I choose now to convey. Deep breath and sigh.
I had a conversation in the bath today with my vagina and other female-developed body parts; an open, honest conversation of gratitude for the constant and yet gentle reminders I've been aware of that my body has given to me for over a decade, of progress I've needed to make in our relationship. It's taken I don't even know how long before that to move from a place of disappointment, ignorance, avoidance, and general blocking of acknowledgement to one of wholeness. I was one of the girls who, upon realizing all of what engendering the female body entailed, was horrified and knew there was some kind of cosmic mistake. And although my body was always right there with me, caring for me in any and every way it could, I responded with despondency.
No one taught me how to 'be' with my body, how to listen to, love and care for the beautiful vessel I have the privilege to animate and co-create with. It wasn't until I went looking into how to bring my experience here into greater flourishing, how to collapse the old way of pushing myself and others to get things done, that I started to listen to my body, to my knowings, to what it is I am here to be. And to really receive the support, love and caring that is around me all the time.
I've come to realize that there is no arrival, no finishing point, it's more like a kind of constant refining, tinkering, and honing that allows me to be vulnerable, to continue to expand and flow more gracefully into what I choose to be, wether that is a more compassionate family member or an easily approachable member of my community. So, it is with a sense of humble awe, of calm acceptance and of heart-felt grace that I continue moment by moment to soften my edges and embrace the love that Is. Thank You.
It's so interesting to see how we create our life from our belief systems. I listened to a friend earlier today talk about his life and it struck me so clearly how he was playing out his life through his beliefs and yet was moving so beautifully into more as he challenged his own belief systems, knowing there was more for his life and his heart.
And what can we do for those that we love (the love being a reflection of the love we have for ourselves)? Keep loving them through the comments and the frustration and the anger and the right/wrong stances. Do what you would want of someone in your shoes, just love them. You don't have to agree or disagree. Just love them! And if they can receive it, great. If they cannot, it's a practice of love for yourself. Give away freely what you want to receive... but that's a post for another time! LOVE!
Last week I had a good cry as my wonderful, God-sent of a husband tucked me in to bed to let me let out my grief and pain and despair around interpreting other people's love as something other than just that. How many times have people just wanted to reach out and love us in their own way, yes maybe from the mind, to fix or resolve something within us, and we misinterpret that as judgement, as not being good enough, or feeling lack and scarcity in our system? I was able to see it all so clearly and just let it all tumble out onto the warm, receiving pillow. And wow, did I feel amazing after that!
When we can let go of our own judgements of what is happening around us, our own set stances and ideas of what is happening, from our past experiences of pain and suffering, we can start to create a space within us of receiving what really is, that everything is love and a gift to us. We just have to choose to see it as such.
Love you All!!!
The Universe has been showing me example after example of where we use thoughts, beliefs and physical reality to step in and play the role of fear for us. Imagine I believe I am scared of the water and so use this idea as a way to cover up the fear I have over drowning, being eaten or lost out at sea. I delude myself with the thought that it's the water I'm scared of, not my fear of death. With this in place, I can never reach my fears because I'm using water to cover it up or to act in it's place. Now I fear water instead of fearing death or soul inhalation or whatever the fear actually is.
We use money, food, sex, clothes, relationships, jobs... all the things external to us instead of facing the fear we feel inside of us, our emptiness, our unease. We will never reach our full potential, the wholeness that We Are, by shifting and changing things external to us in hopes it changes the internal... it's an inside job. What if instead, we separated the thoughts, beliefs and reality from the fear and just let fear be an energy we feel through to completion? Face the fear and you will realize there was nothing to fear at all... the true power is YOU!
Many have experienced the teachings of unwavering devotion, to God(s), to success, to love, to many things, and this knowing is so beautiful, so powerful. What could we create in our life and the lives of those around us if we chose that unwavering devotion for ourselves? To write our own life job description as loving, knowing and being there for ourselves, rain or shine, sickness or health, throughout it all?! Allow yourself to feel into what that could bring into your life now, with this devotion so firmly planted in yourself first, that it overflows naturally and completely, normally flows into the lives of everyone and everything you encounter? How awesome does that feel?! What does that feel like in your relationships, in your vocation, in all that you touch and that touches you? Yummy eh?! And what would it take for you to have this for yourself right now? Keep wondering beautiful beings, keep wondering!
How is it that we can be so many aspects of the whole, my little self, the individual here and now, awareness, higher consciousness... and yet know that we are all One? Like faucets of a gemstone, we are whatever aspect or faucet that we give our attention and awareness to at any one time. That may be a painful place in us that hasn't quite healed, it might be the joy and freedom we know we are while running through the fields on a fresh summer morning, it might be the higher self while someone shows us more in our lives. We are still all these aspects of ourselves, whole when witnessed as One, distinct when our awareness calls for pinpoint accuracy, of giving our attention to details in life. And then diffuse once again, mindless, when the accuracy is no longer required. Separation only exists as a thought or idea, from feeling alone or unloved. So every chance you have to give yourself the love and attention you so deserve... BE THAT!